Time

My mind is full of time
A thing impossible to define and yet I’m full of it
Full of pointless wasting thoughts
Images of rooms and people placed within them
Dancing around each other but I can’t remember faces
A soundtrack of a voice comes back every now and then
But I can’t grasp it
I hardly remember words
Just overwhelming feelings that time has saturated and exaggerated

This is not who I want to be
Zombie moving forward with a dead heart, wallowing mind, soul long drowned out
My living days behind me and now just a character in someone else’s play

I want to be light in action
I want to fight ferociously for all that is good
I want to bring purity and truth into every corner of the world I’m given
I want to sprinkle salt and love onto every interaction
I want my greatest day to be my last day
And to live each day in a glorious ascent to that place

The only way to be then, is to take it in the chin
Respect that it takes more strength to live with myself
And all that that means, how horrible that can feel
But to live any other way is a death before the dying
A surrender and a giving in of which I cannot abide

So here is me, full of sin and full of life
Enough shame and enough hope to make anyone blush
If I can love myself then dear, I can love anyone

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